'Ma, sorry kacau. I need help.'
'Anything?'
'Ni pasal ******. Dateline dah dekat, dunno where to find this and that. I need your advise.'
'Laaa..u tak payah risau pasal tu, mama and abah nanti cover.'
'But its my day.'
'Told u, we got it covered.'
(edited for dramatic reason)
That was some of the conversation dengan mama semalam. Seriously, mama and abah were my last resort when it comes to a dead end. And yet, they, both of them, never fail to help me through. I was almost come to a 'we have to postponed this' solution, and they give me a reason to stay straight. Kadangkala rasa macam susah nak hadap tapi bila cerita kat mama, aku terus redah.
32 years and still counting, bukan sehari dua diorang dah bersama, anak sembilan, menantu tiga, cucu tiga, that was hell of an achievement i can never think of. Ya betul, kali ni baru aku rasa stress bila nak datang hari itu. Selama ni aku tak pernah perasan pun, even dah berbulan benda jadi pun masih tak perasan. Orang takkan nampak depan mata, aku pun tak reti nak tunjuk mintak ihsan simpati, buat apa? Bukan apa, sebenarnya aku pun tak tahu benda dah lama, makan sikit-sikit sampai la.
Betul aku stress. Things aren't just as simple as ABC. Ada yang kata senang, ada yang kata susah, aku kata ini ujian. Berat nak tanggung makan hati sorang sampai tak tau nak cerita. Dulu pinggang saiz 31, pakai baju saiz M pun sendat sampai la baju tu aku gantung je buat emergency. And emergency came knocking on my door this morning, baju lain semua hantar dobi tak kutip lagi, tinggal baju M sendat tu. Surprised i'm not, baju M sendat dah tak sendat lagi.
Apa rahsia, orang tanya. Makan macam biasa, pagi, tengahari, malam, futsal 2-3 kali seminggu, balik futsal makan nasi lagi. Mana yang jadi dietnya? Bukan diet tapi tekanan makan diri. Average 4am baru tidur, 6am bangun subuh, tidur balik, 8.30am bangun terus. Berapa jam? 3-4 hours, DAILY! Been going on like this for about 3-4 months, and still going. Itu bukan diet. Itu stress. My sleepless nights filled with hours of tazkirah, ceramah, sirah nabi, tafsir ayat, thanks to youtube. Thats my secret. Itu lebih baik dari aku sedut meth.
Mama pesan jaga diri, jaga solat, jaga adab, subuh jangan tinggal (the only prayer i ALWAYS miss bila balik kampung.), banyakkan mengaji. Mama pesan lagi, banyakkan bersabar, don't do anything stupid, she's still young, kena belajar bersabar untuk mendidik. Aku pasrah. Orang tak nampak, mama pun tak nampak, abah pun tak nampak, it all came to me, and it eats me slowly. Macam virus masuk dalam mainboard. No, dia bukan virus, stress itu virus.
Mama, she never fail to help each and everyone of her children, not even once. Abah, he's like the boss, the kind of that you'll always adore. The way they sails this big ship, never i can see in any other ship that i knew. Sorry, i don't cry writing this......i cried when it finished.
Abah, mama, you're the greatest of them all. Barakallahu a'laikuma.
